You made me cry and you don't even care
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
