Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
