the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
