..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
