She's JV to your varsity
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
