is your mom at the bar?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize