My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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