To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
