My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
