you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
