Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
