I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
