I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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