i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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