Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize