They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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