Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
