you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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