i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So vagazzling was a success
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
