It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize