If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
