Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
