I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize