look no pants
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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