I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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