Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
