erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
