Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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