youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
