Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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