No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
