If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you win again, gameday.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
