i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
