Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
