So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
