Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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