absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
