so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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