Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
