The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
