I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
