he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
