I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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