I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize