margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Green mimosas i think yes
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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