i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
