STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize