Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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