So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
