what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
