i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
