The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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