Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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