ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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