What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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