i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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