He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
