He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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