Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
