Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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