he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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