Ambien. No doubt about it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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