after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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