nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
