fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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