I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
