Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
